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The birth control pill was supposed to make women more excited about sex. Certainly, there are women today who are willing to have sex for no particular reason other than ego. But women’s motives are different from men’s. Women do not seek their own pleasure, but rather what they could gain by providing male pleasure. The invention of reliable birth control methods cannot change women’s responses that have evolved over millions of years. A sexual drive operates regardless of risk.
Reliable contraception can’t make women want more sex than it can make men want less. If we link orgasm with the desire to procreate, then we could assume that men will want less sex with the advent of the contraceptive pill. Men want to have sex for the pleasure they enjoy. This pleasure does not decrease or increase just because it does not lead to reproduction. Similarly, if women got the same pleasure from intercourse as men, then we wouldn’t have as much reproductive success.
If women had a sexual desire like men, they would be just as willing to have unprotected sex as men. If women had sex with men indiscriminately, they would be pregnant all the time but by unknown men. They would not get the support of a single man and it would be impossible to start a family. Women would be left alone to raise their children. This might be possible in a society that forces men to pay child support, but not in the eons of evolution that have made the sexes what they are.
Without the protection of reliable contraceptive methods, few women would volunteer for unprotected sex. A woman, like all female mammals, is at a disadvantage (compared to a man) because of her vulnerability during pregnancy. A female commits to rearing children longer than other female mammals because our offspring take longer to reach maturity.
It is a disadvantage for a woman to be pregnant. She cannot fight or defend herself as well as when she is not pregnant. Likewise, if she is carrying a baby or small child, she is disabled. When faced with danger, it’s a disadvantage to have someone else to protect. A man is also at a disadvantage (an enemy can take hostages) if he has a family. Many men avoid family and relationships due to the emotional and financial burden.
Women take on the social taboos of an unwanted pregnancy, aborting the unborn child, and the responsibility of raising a child. Women pay for sex with their lives. The men usually get away with it, but with modern laws they leave paying financial compensation. This leads to women exploiting men using pregnancy as a means of obtaining money.
Before the 1960s there were no reliable contraceptives. A woman risked becoming pregnant every time she had sex. If she was not married, there was no man who would accept responsibility for the expenses of a family. A woman is considered irresponsible for bringing children into the world without a father and unable to pay for her upbringing. This is because society accepts that a woman has much more conscious control over her decision to have sex. She is not sexually driven like a man is. In the 1800s, married women spent their entire lives pregnant or nursing. Women commonly died in childbirth. Women cannot consciously change responses that have evolved over millions of years.
Men often mistakenly assume that women use the same criteria for relationships as men. They assume that women seek sexual satisfaction. But women look for men who are good providers or who have some sensitivity to women’s more emotional needs. Even with reliable birth control, there is often a risk of pregnancy, which is a good reason why some women are reluctant to have sex.
Instinctively, a woman knows that she has to offer a man regular sex to keep him interested in a relationship with her. Some women can consciously recognize this. Others simply respond to male demand. A woman gets used to accepting that if a man gets sex then her behavior and attitude towards her improves. So they offer sex to keep the peace.
Women don’t need sex. On a more basic level, even the idea of sex is unappealing to women. Most women need to feel a strong emotional attachment to be willing to have sex with a man. This emotional attachment arises because of her desire to be loved and admired. The mechanism that makes women feel needed and loved comes from men’s sexual desire.
Men are much more dangerous than women because some men are willing to kill to get what they want. Crime statistics indicate that men commit far more crimes of all kinds than women. Women commit around 10% of all murders. But their motives are different. Women’s aggression is often motivated by self-preservation. Men dominate jealousy killings. Many women do not have the opportunity to be financially independent. Even the women who do it become dependent on a man because they want to have children.
Most men find it difficult to understand why women are not aroused by such graphic depictions of sexual action…Wives, on the other hand, often do not understand why a man who has satisfactory sexual intercourse in the home should seek additional stimulation in representations of sexual action. (Alfred Kinsey 1953)
