Breaking up with a romantic love is a very difficult feeling that could be compared to one’s emotion at the death of a loved one.
Many well meaning people will simply tell you to move on and find someone else. In many cases, this advice is good and appropriate. If a person doesn’t want to be with you anymore, then they’re not worth pursuing.
However, this is not the case for many breakups. There are some truly special loves that shouldn’t end prematurely, you have to fight for them. Even you have broken. Some breakups happened because of drunken wrong moves, a silly argument that escalated, or a simple misunderstanding. In these cases, you may not feel like moving forward as you just want the person you love back in your arms.
With this in mind, we’ll look at the three steps a person should take to help themselves reconnect with their ex and win her back.
1) Reset contact
This is the first step, but it can also be the hardest because your ex probably doesn’t want to talk to you. Reestablishing contact can be difficult without coming across as a stalker or a hot bunny.
Don’t leave voicemails drunk and crying at 3am and never send dozens of texts a day. Learn the art of patience.
If you have a lot of mutual friends, maybe it’s time to ask them for a favor. Get reintroduced on neutral ground, like a party or any stress-free social event. Always remember to be calm when you meet. The most important thing is to give the impression that someone is fun to be around. Share jokes with your ex, have fun without pressure instead of scaring them by begging them to take you back.
2) Be friends again
This may sound like a very obvious step, but it should be stated. Don’t try to pick up where you left off. You parted because in that very moment of sharing paths, at least one of you cannot bear the feeling of being together. You need to rediscover what you both liked about each other in the first place. This is impossible if you want to pick up where you left off.
If you try to rush things, you will have the same arguments and repeat the same mistakes. Take a step back and be friends again. Approach your reunion the way old friends would, not like old lovers. Think back to when you first met. What was it that attracted you to each other and made you like each other?
3) Let him know you want him back
This will either work or not, depending on how well you endeared yourself to your ex during the “friendship” stage. If you were funny, witty, and charming… you’ve probably endeared yourself to your ex and you’ve got a good shot. If you couldn’t get over the reasons you broke up, then maybe it’s for the best that you break up.
Getting to know each other again as friends will give you the best indication of whether or not you can get over your problems and start fresh. If everything went well, you won’t need to tell them that you want to start over… everything can start over with a kiss.
