Dr. Romance writes:
Would you like to stretch out time, make the time you have last longer, and use it more for what you really want to do? Stretching out time isn’t difficult if you have the prerequisites: self-awareness, a sense of purpose, thoughtful action, and a playful approach.
Self awareness:
As with all successful life skills, stretching time works best if you know yourself well. When you’re aware of your priorities, for example, where work, relationships, family, and fun are on your “What’s Most Important” list? Are you devoting most of your time to what is most important?
You will be more effective and less stressed if you learn to take charge of your personal and family time. Families need to sit down together and decide what activities are really worth doing and what is just a “rat race.” It’s crucial to learn how to avoid “time sinks” (such as unnecessary email, TV, or people who talk too much on the phone), because certain people and activities can be time-consuming and not worth your time. Being “time conscious” is the best way to achieve balance.
If you are a father, you also need free time. This can be accomplished by allowing children over the age of seven to spend occasional nights at friends’ houses and then reciprocally. This allows both sets of parents a chance to be alone, get out and rest. “Family networks” in which several families (related or not) share time, driving, babysitting, etc. it can really expand the amount of free time each family enjoys.
The key is to strike a balance between work/play, self/others, giving/receiving, and leisure/financial security. Striking a balance between work and the rest of your life is the key to avoiding burnout. You will be much better at doing this if you are self-aware, think about your options, schedule your personal and work time, and learn to be flexible.
Sense of purpose:
As you become more aware of your priorities, you may also discover a sense of purpose. Or maybe you already know what your sense of purpose is. However you get there (and I’ve given instructions in both The Real Step 13 and Done With You, if you want more information) knowing what you want to do with your life saves incredible amounts of time. Once you know your goal, many decisions are made in advance: it becomes a process of deciding which moves will get you closer to your goal, which won’t, and that saves time wasted on experimenting, doubting, and being indecisive.
Learning to be patient and calm also lengthens time and relieves stress. Cultivating patience is really learning impulse control: learning to do “emotional maintenance” and shake off stress; How to quit smoking when something is affecting you. It’s a self-control problem. To gain patience, you must stop the urge to quit, change your thinking/attitude, call a friend for encouragement. People who need to learn to be patient don’t know how to realize that they are being impulsive or how to stop. They often have a sense of entitlement (“I just didn’t want to wait,” she said with some pride) and an emotional immaturity. In reality, they are like emotional three-year-old children in adult bodies. To learn the patience and determination needed to achieve long-term goals, practice on the small things first and learn to sort out what is worth exercising patience and what is not.
For example, there are situations and people with whom you have to work a little more to understand what they mean, so as not to take what they say the wrong way, or have a little more patience around them, because their personalities or styles are quite different. different from the others. yours.
Perhaps you have come across people who test your patience at work, with friends, or with extended family. Sometimes people are hard to deal with because they remind us of other people we had problems with in the past, so we feel attracted and frustrated at the same time. Others can be difficult for many people around them. Problems with a family type of person may not arise until they are already bonded and involved as friends or associates.
The following exercise will help you take a step back and look at others as a source of information about you, see people from a different angle, and use the very people who upset you as a reflection of the internal dynamics behind your you fight.
To let go of the little things:
1: Perspective, put them in perspective, will it be important an hour from now, fifteen minutes from now? Most of them won’t be.
2. Self-understanding: if someone or something bothers you, don’t exacerbate the problem by putting yourself on your own case to react. Reactions are normal, it’s what we do with them that counts.
3: Rise Above: If someone scared you (a driver who cut you off), say a little thank you prayer for surviving, bless the other driver (who probably needs it) and you will feel better.
4. Benefit of the doubt: If someone hurt your feelings, acknowledge that your feelings are hurt, then consider that the other person is probably more clumsy than intentionally hurtful. The world is full of emotional dummies who don’t realize the impact of their words and actions, creating more trouble for themselves than for you.
5. Consider the source: A really unpleasant neighbor or associate may repeatedly hurt your feelings. Consider what must be going on inside that person’s head, and be thankful you’re not hearing it. Even the meanest people are much nastier to themselves than to others. That person is trying to ease her pain by inflicting something on you.
reflective action:
Acting reflexively rather than impulsively means your actions are effective and therefore save more time.
Because time is valuable, learn to budget for it the way you budget for money. In advising my clients, I have found that putting oneself on a “time diet” works wonders. Beware of “time sinks”: television, computers, email, etc. and phone conversations with people who talk a lot without any purpose. Learn to say “no” to non-essential time wasters, so you can spend more time on the things that are important to you. Knowing how to balance and prioritize, cooperate and schedule your time so that everything has its place is the key. Individuals and couples must prioritize, cooperate, and schedule their time so that everything has a place. Being “time conscious” is the best way to achieve balance. Striking a balance between work and the rest of your life is the key to avoiding burnout. You will be much better at doing this if you are self-aware, think about your options, schedule your personal and work time, and learn to be flexible.
Sometimes having duplicate tools and supplies saves time, for example, having scissors, makeup, nail files, etc. in various places around the house, so they are where you need them when you want them, or if you travel a lot. Like me, having your travel kit permanently available, with the items you need, and keeping it only for travel. I have a separate ‘kit’ for various activities: one for the gym, one for the pool, one for my music lessons, one for the church choir. When I get home from a ride or workout, I restock the kit so it’s ready for the next time. For example, when I get home from the pool, I take out the wet towels, put the dry ones in, and I’m ready to go next time.
playful approach:
A playful approach may not stretch time specifically, but it makes you feel like the time invested is worth it. One way to enjoy the time you have and feel more fulfilled is to remember that life shouldn’t just be serious; to really feel like it’s worth living, we all need to have a little fun. Yes, fun. Remember the fun! Pleasure, humor, leisure activities, and silliness are ways we recharge ourselves, renew our energy, restore our hope and positive outlook, and connect with others.
Fun does not depend on spending money or going to extremes. It doesn’t depend on a particular setting, partner, or activity, and it doesn’t have to take a lot of time. Having fun is an internal process. You can have fun sitting and thinking about interesting or pleasant things, or working in your garden, stroking the cat, talking quietly with a friend, or playing cards with some. Singing, dancing, playing a sport, and drawing pictures are fun hobbies for some people. If you’re like me, playing with your brain is fun. Fun also creates a deep inner connection. Through play we reconnect with our hearts, with our childish self and with the intuitive and spontaneous part of our psyche.
For many people today (due in part, no doubt, to the images of pleasure seen in the media), the definition of fun has been distorted. Some ideas of what is fun are connected to excess, such as having a couple of drinks or playing “extreme” sports. Some people think that to have fun they have to spend a lot of money traveling or dining out. Others think that in order to have fun, you need to be around the “right kind of people.” The saddest of all are those who rely on others to “create” their fun.
Most of us think of fun as something we do on special occasions, something that requires a bit of advance planning. We have entire industries dedicated to helping us play. It seems as if a new theme park opens every week. But when you look back at your happiest life experiences, they’re more likely to have been spontaneous and simple than elaborate and expensive. The game is recreation, that is, an activity that “recreates” us, makes us see life differently and refreshes us with change.
You don’t have to separate play and fun from whatever else you’re doing. A light-hearted approach to serious matters is often the most productive. Try Laughter: Buy a desk calendar with a new cartoon every day, share a joke you got by email, tell a coworker what a nice thing your child said (or listen to their story), or talk about the funny scene In the latest hit movie, it will lower your blood pressure, calm your pulse, and generally help you release a lot of stress.
