I knew it wouldn’t be a month. In fact, it’s been several years in a row that every month someone wants to talk to me about how the grass is greener on the other side. There are only 4 days left in the month, and today the streak is still alive.

What I find interesting is that I usually hear it from someone who is in a new relationship. {I define a new relationship as 2 years or less.} While it’s true that I get a fair share of long-term partners, it seems that new partners get restless sooner rather than later.

So the grass is greener on the other side? Honestly, in most cases yes. But that will change quickly if you don’t take the time to water the lawn where you are. New relationship or old, the weed will fade if you don’t take care of it properly. So for me, it really has nothing to do with weed. But it has everything to do with motivation. I see many couples giving value to unimportant things. Not that they are unimportant, but it is about priorities.

I hear things like we didn’t have a vacation this year and that’s why we’re bummed. However, she/he will never hang up the phone and spend time with me. This is really all about distraction. While it’s important to show your partner respect and plan fun activities, many couples when faced with the prospect of just spending time together find they have nothing in common and nothing to talk about. What happened to the days of just wanting to be with the person you fell in love with? Why are we now avoiding true intimacy? Is it like grass and that love has faded? Or is it that we never took the time to cultivate love in the first place?

Each couple has to find a rhythm that works for them. But it’s hard to find that rhythm when we don’t invest properly in our partner. In today’s face-paced society, we are inundated with non-stop distractions. Between social media, 24/7 news, and non-stop texting, some find it hard to focus on the person in front of them. Do you want to know which couples will make it and which ones won’t? Here are a couple of indicators where a relationship is likely to be successful.

1. They are all inside. They run their businesses in-house and support each other.

2. They talk to each other and not to each other. {If you have difficulty understanding this principle, read about effective communication.}

3. They are willing to compromise, but not to their core values.

4. They act as a team when making the “big” decisions.

5. They laugh. And they laugh often.

6. They understand that there will be bad days. And just like making those “big” decisions, come together knowing it affects both of you.

7. They make time for each other. With all those distractions out there, they don’t get distracted from each other.

8. They make time to get away from each other. They understand that sometimes a little distraction is not only a good thing, it can be healthy.

9. They make their relationship more than just them. They find a way to connect with something bigger than themselves. {Community, volunteering, religion etc… }.

10. Because they are in love, they are not jealous. {See principle number 1}.

Everyone loves a green lawn. But not everyone wants to work in the garden. But here’s the thing. Lawns like relationships fade without proper care. Just like you take care of your house and just about everything else you own. You’re going to have to put a little work into it to keep it special.

I’ve known men who spend more time working on that old car in the garage than spending time with their significant other. I’ve even called them for it. To my surprise, I have heard it, but fixing it increases its value. wow! Can you imagine how the value of your relationship would increase if you worked so hard on it? Do you understand my point?

Don’t let distraction cause you to swoon. Because if you do, eventually every lawn you step on will fade away.