There is an unspoken expectation that every man carries with him on his wedding day. He is sure, usually beyond any foolishness or reason, that his bride-to-be will always love him as much as she does when she walks down the aisle toward him. It is completely understandable why a man would believe this. Our wedding days are full of promise and we hope, trust and believe that nothing between us and our spouse will ever change. The divorce rate right now suggests otherwise. Marriages break up for a variety of reasons, and we often don’t pay as much attention to those around us who are separating and divorcing. When his own wife seems to be trying to emotionally distance herself from you, that’s when she’s going to sound the alarm that something is seriously wrong. If this has started to happen within your own marriage, learning how to win back your wife’s love will obviously be your number one focus in the days and weeks ahead.

Make amends for past mistakes if you want to get your marriage back on track. Correcting past mistakes has to be an essential step in rebuilding the connection you and your wife once had. As much as we all want, as human beings, to absolve ourselves of guilt when we are in a failed relationship, it takes two to achieve success in marriage. Think only of your own actions and what you could have done differently to keep the spark between you and your wife alive. Apologize to her, but don’t turn this into a circus. It has to be sincere and simple. If you sit your wife down, tell her that you recognize that you’ve fallen short of the “perfect husband” category and that you want the opportunity to show her that you can be a better partner that will impress her. She may not react favorably right away, but it will fester inside her and begin to wonder what her marriage would be like if they both tried harder.

Let your actions speak for you. Making a promise to become a better spouse is one thing, but it takes determination and commitment to keep it. The easiest and most effective way to show your wife that you are serious about winning back her love and adoration is to make a list of all the things you could be doing for her that you haven’t. It can be something as simple as helping her cook dinner a couple of nights a week. Perhaps she feels that she needs to spend more time co-parenting so that she can free up her schedule to pursue the things that she wants to do. By taking a more active role within the marriage and acting more like a couple, he is showing his wife something very important. She will see, feel, and sense that you respect her, and that can go a long way toward healing a marriage mired in emotional pain.

Communicate with your wife about the marriage regularly. It may seem like this should go without saying, but in most marriages, both spouses leave their spouse in the background to take care of many other things. Unless a couple makes time and commits to talking about their relationship on a regular basis, the connection they once shared can become strained. You have to be the person who encourages your wife to take the time to talk about your marriage, what you both want from it, and what isn’t working right now. Unless you do this, the disconnect your wife has been feeling from you will continue to grow. This is paramount if you want a happier, more nurturing bond with your spouse. You may want to make discussion time a weekly event that occurs when the two of you go out to dinner, or perhaps sitting down each day for a while after the kids have gone to bed and the house is quiet is more appropriate. You need to take the initiative with this and work with your wife to improve the communication between the two of you so that it reaches a point where you both feel incredibly comfortable sharing everything you feel.

Winning back your wife’s love is definitely within your reach if you are willing to adapt to the situation and make positive changes. You were the man she chose to marry, and with more understanding, insight, and thoughtful attention, you can show her wife that he would marry her again. Help her feel that. By doing so, you will be holding her hand, in an emotional sense, as she breaks down the barriers that have been created and allows herself to get closer to you than ever before.