When her marriage, which she thought would last forever, is disintegrating before her very eyes, she’s desperate for answers, but she doesn’t know where to turn. So, frustrated and angry, he yells “I need help fixing my marriage now!” If he can identify with this problem, then he should stop what he is doing, take a deep breath and listen.

I too was in a similar situation a couple of years ago and was desperate to find a way to save my marriage from a safe divorce. It was hard for me to think, much less think clearly. So I started a series of reckless strategies to try to get my wife back. These included:

1) give in to my wife’s wishes and demands, even though this was not what I wanted

2) try to get my wife to accept full responsibility and admit where they went wrong

and the best of all,

3) begging my wife to take me back

The only thing these strategies did was take my wife away from me!

I was frantically searching for answers and it wasn’t until I realized that emotional actions were getting me nowhere fast that I understood the need to try another alternative if I was going to save my marriage from divorce. I had learned that every negative action on my part resulted in a negative reaction from my wife. I desperately needed to change the situation to make sure that everything I did or said would result in a positive reaction from her, no matter how difficult it was going to be, since I was determined to fight for my marriage. I decided to try a different approach in the form of rational thinking.

I focused on staying calm in situations where I would have been stressed and angry before. I took some time to get away from the conflict until I had thought things through and was able to act in a positive and calm way. I stopped blaming my wife and instead started working together to solve problems, one step at a time, until I managed to gain some trust with my wife.

Slowly but surely, my relationship began to turn a corner. Two years have passed and my marriage is still stronger than ever and more importantly, I have my wife back!