Lyssa Danehy deHart, a transformative coach and self-proclaimed story hijacker, reveals in her new book, Storyjacking, how our lives are shaped by the stories we tell ourselves. Unfortunately, too often, those stories hold us back. She believes that we have to “hijack” our stories, take control of them, and change our versions of them or the directions they go, so that we can change our lives in positive ways that allow us to move forward and fulfill our dreams.
While the concept isn’t new, the term storyjacking is, and it’s about time we had a term for this concept. I’ve always found that when there is a problem and we find a way to label it, we empower ourselves to overcome it. We all have voices in our heads that hold us back, voices that tell us to be afraid, to fear what others think, that we are not good enough to do something, etc. Now we can say to ourselves when we hear those voices: “It is time to break that belief.”
Yes, it’s time we all started hijacking stories. But it’s easier said than done when we have ingrained beliefs about ourselves that we must overcome in order to change our old story to a new one. That is why Lyssa has written this book, to help us become excellent story hijackers.
Storyjacking is a seven-step guide to help readers recover a fundamental truth about themselves. That truth comes in four parts, and each section is titled for one of those parts. The sections are: you are complete, you are capable, you are resourceful and you are creative. Then each section is divided into several chapters relevant to it. For example, in the You Are Able section, some of the chapters are titled “A Case for Visualization,” “Expanding Consciousness,” “Nothing is Personal,” and “Archetypes.” One of the best aspects of this book is that the chapters are very short; that allows the reader to digest an idea into small fragments so that it is more easily assimilated and better implanted in our mind as a realization, a thought pattern or a habit.
While the focus of Storyjacking is on the stories we tell ourselves, Lyssa looks at all aspects of our lives and the situations and thoughts that hold us back. A “Habits are Hardwired Stories” chapter helps us break through entrenched habits and retrain our brains to find new patterns.
Another chapter, “You can always choose”, allows us to realize that we do not have to be victims, but we can always make a decision and do it well. One of my favorite chapters was “Plot Twist”. I love the idea of introducing the plot twist into our lives. Now when I find myself in a difficult situation, I can ask myself, “What will be the plot twist of this story?” and that encourages me to stop dwelling on the problem and find a more creative way to resolve my situation.
Of course, changing our stories is not easy when we have kept them for so long. Lyssa guides the reader through the process of working with past pain, forgiveness, learning to be vulnerable when it benefits us, and letting go of the past and the stories that have held us back.
But for me, the most powerful point of this book was that I can learn to be okay without knowing something. I know that sometimes I can be a control freak and I hate anything that is spontaneous or unscheduled. I always want to know the details well in advance, and I know that sometimes it drives other people crazy, it drives me crazy. Since I read this book, I have been trying to get better at being okay with not knowing. In short, I am trying to learn to go with the flow when it is absolutely not imperative that I know something, and it is rarely imperative.
Finally, one of my favorite things about this book is the truthful but often mind-boggling statements that Lyssa spreads throughout it that she calls the “super secrets of the universe.” For example, the first super secret she shares is: You are not living your life for today. Your self of yesterday has already made all the decisions that led you to where you are now, and your self of today will make all the decisions for your self of tomorrow. If you’re like me and have a hard time saying “No,” then this super-secret may be useful to you: Anyone can ask you for anything, but you don’t have to agree.
Each chapter also concludes with a helpful exercise that asks readers to reflect on the material and be honest with themselves about their current story and how they should change it. These questions will wake up readers of the fairy tale or even the victim’s story that they may be telling themselves so that they can create a new story based on reality and who they really are.
If you are ready to tell yourself a new story about your life, so that you can have a new and better life, I highly recommend that you learn the transformative art of storyjacking.
