Does making a “little talk” cause you a “great fear”? Would you like to be able to melt into the floor when you have to enter a room full of strangers?

There are several techniques you can use to make yourself more comfortable. Find someone, preferably someone who is alone, and look at them. If the other person looks back, smile. If the other person smiles slightly, move closer.

Realize that you have something in common with everyone else in that room: they are all in the same place. So, make a comment and then ask a question about the place. (You can also talk about the weather, the event, or something else you have in common, such as belonging to the same organization.)

Some examples might be: “It sure is cold outside! How far did you have to go to get here?” or “This is a fabulous facility! What’s in the rest?”

Before entering the room, think of five open-ended questions you can ask to encourage the other person to speak. Base them on what he and you may have in common, or how you got to this point in life. For example, “How do you know [the host]? “Another question might be,” Based on the emblem on your shirt, we both work for the same employer! What do you do for XYZ company? “One or more questions may be based on local or corporate news, so stay up to date on current events. After 5 questions, if the conversation is still awkward, it’s time to apologize and move on to someone else.

Apologize by giving a valid reason to keep going, such as “I enjoyed talking to you, but I need to meet new people (or visit a vendor, buy something to eat, etc.). Have a good night!” Smile and walk away to do what you said in your reason.

If you are traveling by plane or boat, you need to change the rules. Remember that you have the experience of being in the same means of transport in common. Pairs of comments / questions like “Wow, look at that sunset! What are the sunsets like where you come from?” it would be appropriate. You can’t walk away from the other person, so watch their body language closely for signs that they want to end the conversation. One of those signs could be a lack of eye contact. If you want to finish it, use a reason like “It’s nice to talk to you, but I really need to finish my work.” Then look at the book or papers.

There are more rules of this type in networks, especially in business networks, but the above are basic in American culture.

These rules can be learned through books, seminars, and coaching.