Empathy is about putting yourself in another person’s shoes and trying to relate to what that person might be feeling. Out of empathy comes caring, consideration, compassion, and even remorse (if you can’t think about how your actions might hurt someone else, how can you feel bad about what you’ve done?). Some people deliberately try to turn off empathy to eliminate hurting themselves, and others are not stimulated to create the brain pathways for empathy in the first place.

Seven tips for fostering empathy:

1. Help children become aware of their own feelings by pointing to what you see. “I can see that you are disappointed” “I understand your displeasure…”

2. When your child does something to hurt someone else, ask him to think about how he would feel if the roles were reversed. Try to make her think without making her feel bad about making a mistake. “I want you to think about how you would feel if someone took your favorite toy away from you and didn’t let you get it back.”

3. Share your own feelings and take full responsibility for them. “I’m furious that the dog ate my food while I was on the phone. He really wanted to eat that sandwich.”

4. Model empathy with your child. “I can understand why you feel that way. I’d be mad if someone did that to me.”

5. Use situations around you to discuss how other people may feel. Speak tactfully about situations you witness or use the characters in movies and TV shows. “I think she felt embarrassed when the store clerk laughed at her, what do you think?”

6. When people have to care for something living, they often develop a sense of connection that helps teach empathy. Teach your children how to take care of something living: a plant, an animal, a bird or a reptile.

7. Ask your children to act out a short story (fairy tales work well) and encourage them to get into the role. To be a great actor, you have to think carefully about how your character would feel, which is what empathy is all about.

Developing empathy is important to all of us. Getting along with others, being able to wait your turn, treating people with compassion, feeling bad when you mistreat others, all depend on our ability to care about how that other person might feel. Being in tune with others helps us develop compassion.