In September 2015, my daughter called me to share some news that changed my life. She said, “hi dad”! I immediately heard concern and fear in her voice. Even though my daughter is 41 years old and she leads her own life quite successfully, the parental instinct within me to be there to take care of her was shattered by what she had to tell me. “Dad, I found lumps in my breast that weren’t there two months ago. I’m going to the doctor for a biopsy to see if this could be cancer.” The now possible threat to her life and everything we’ve shared together was very humiliating for me and the thoughts I had that she should be able to fix it.

Every empathic connection I had with her came into intense focus to tell me what I was experiencing. Disbelief, denial, and anger were her emotional reactions to unwanted thoughts of what her future might be. Her perception of her life had just changed, as it was a possible threat to the very core of her physical being. I seemed to feel the same sensations of emotional energy moving through my body and I wanted to scream No! Nope! Nope! Suddenly, a part of the parental identity that I had been attached to for so many years was also threatened. However, he was still unwilling to give in. In an automatic reaction, I listened to my thoughts: “She has so much to give to the world. Why would her path be cut short with such ugly potential? This isn’t fair! There has to be some miracle she can find!” As most parents can relate, I was taking ownership of her challenge. A lot of questions came to my mind with a desperate desire for answers. I began to embrace these mental, emotional, and physical responses as if her physical health were my own physical reality. I had a lot of confusion left to solve and I was determined to do it.

I have an attachment to her and our special and loving connection. She’s my daughter. She is my possession in this life. I helped create her, teach her, and nurture her into adulthood. Now this beautiful relationship could be forced to change with the threat of cancer. At the very least this could change our perspective on life and how we have learned to relate to one another. Why should we anticipate a more unpleasant way of life? Fear prevailed! I did not like the change that was imposed on him. While resisting this, my reaction was a desire to control or prevent any unpleasant results.

So I began to reflect on the truth of this. I have been teaching metaphysics for 13 years and have direct experience of changing my thoughts on purpose to make illness go away. I have studied and gained a firm understanding that our thoughts cause our experiences, including illness. Through this learning I have gained the spiritual awareness that there is a higher purpose for her illness, higher than my desire to save her and our relationship as we know it. I then realized that my initial reaction stemmed from my attachment to preserving the close and comfortable relationship we had created together. At the same time I was experiencing the voice of my inner knowing saying, “I must surrender to the truth.” I was reluctant to look at or accept their circumstances from a higher existence. I didn’t like that choice. I certainly didn’t want to admit to the fact that my daughter might have a life-threatening illness. I could feel her emotions as if they were my own. However, my inner awareness reminded me that as I identify with my soul perspective, this is actually a neutral experience for your soul learning and growth.

I needed to give up my identity, my ego’s attachment to possessing her. This was his lesson to learn, as much as he hated it. Giving up my need to hold on to my identity as a parent with the need to protect her, I began to accept that superior relationship with her. I was gaining a spiritual perspective by learning what it is to share compassion, even unconditional love between two souls.

This is the reality I have been waking up to for years. I have come to realize that there is a greater purpose to our existence than just the physical life we ​​participate in. We learn to accept each other, to eliminate our separation and judgments, to know the connection and unconditional love necessary to support the growth of the soul of others. In this I have come to realize that there is a greater love that I can have for my daughter as a soul, both of us supporting each other on our journey together.

This is not a religious perspective that I have cultivated, but rather one that I have developed, awakening to be more expanded in my consciousness. I am aware of my origin and my purpose for being here. I have expanded my conscious awareness to know that I am a soul first, living in this body and directing my brain. I know my daughter is also a soul and her soul’s purpose for being here is different than mine, except that like me, she is here to learn, grow and evolve. Our souls are here to help each other. My surrender is to release my physical attachment to possessing her so that we can receive a higher existence together.

There is only one perspective to honor, that of the soul. This spiritual image of my soul and my true existence does not take away the pain and suffering. But it puts me in a frame of mind to understand the learning that is going to take place. This understanding neutralizes the pain and I am grateful for the growth.