Mom came home for hospice care. She didn’t want to leave this world in a cold hospital with people she didn’t know. Her own bed with her fur babies was her choice and we did. I paid hell but it was worth it.

My older sister fought desperately to get Mom put in a nursing home. Mom defended herself. I was her mercenary and it was exhausting. We got home and mom stayed for 3 days to say goodbye to her and then she passed away.

What happened in those 72 hours was incredible. She became spiritual and I drank her like fresh water after a long walk in the desert. She changed me in the best possible way. She rinsed me in faith. I woke up after a long exhausting sleep.

Faith wanes. It waxes and wanes like the phases of the moon. When it’s strong, I feel invincible. When I get weak and doubt, sick people enter my world and cause great anguish. I’m not sure I can tolerate ‘false Christians’ any more.

Cross necklaces and sporadic church attendance do not make you a person of faith. Following the example of unconditional love and acceptance of Jesus of Nazareth is the goal. Some of my own people will never understand this.

I took mom to the hospital with breathing problems. I walked in one morning and her lips were blue. The trip to the hospital was daunting. I almost crashed trying to keep the oxygen tube up her nose and steer the car.

I turned into Terry Ady’s Auto Repair and ran into the shop screaming. A young man ran out and jumped into the driver’s seat. He later learned that he is the son of a preacher. I intend to visit that church and testify.

Mom woke up, looked at him and said, ‘Who are you?’ before she passed out. He and I said the Our Father together as he took us to the ER. I will never forget the strength and compassion of that young man.

The doctors stabilized mom and said it was time for hospice. My older sister showed up after years of absence and tried to take control. Mom was very weak but she said, “Please take me home.” We almost checked her out AMA but she signed release papers in the elevator when I took her out.

As soon as he got to his own bed, he slept for 12 hours. I thought that she would die while she was sleeping and made the necessary phone calls to the family who were concerned. When she woke up, she was in a completely different state of mind. She was full of faith. It was amazing to see her so peaceful and ready to leave this world.

She shared that her Uncle Gary would be coming for her. She also said that there was nothing to fear and that everything we believe in is real. She had been to the other side and was excited to be back.

A few sips of fresh coffee, a beer straw, and a fruit straw were his last orders. Smoking took years off his life, but he wanted to have a cigarette but he couldn’t breathe hard enough to inhale.

For the first time in my life, I lit up and took a big puff of smoke to blow into his mouth. She loved him. We finished the cigarette when I started to really taste the tobacco. She jokingly told me not to smoke because it was bad for my health. We shared a much-needed laugh.