You are unique in your mental life

I made peace with my thoughts by welcoming every thought, even the painful ones. Over time, my mind settled down and my life was transformed, as I was no longer captive to my thoughts. In doing so, I discovered inner peace and inner freedom. Situations that previously caused painful feelings slowly faded away and I was no longer struggling with my thoughts.

It may seem hard to believe, but my biggest discovery throughout this journey is that I stopped believing my thoughts. Why do we accept the false narrative that our thoughts promote? People lie all the time and can’t be trusted, so why do we believe our thoughts to be true? To be clear, I’m not talking about how we use thinking to solve problems. I am referring to the incessant thoughts that go through our minds repeatedly. Thoughts that come out of nowhere and convince us of something that is not true. You identify?

Here’s an idea to consider: Thoughts are subjective to the experimenter. There are many factors that determine how we think, including our education, our health status, beliefs, and our environment. In other words, our thoughts are unique to us and are the amalgamation of our past and present. No two people share the same thoughts, even those raised in the same household. We are unique in our mental life and there is no such thing as ‘The Truth’.

In my case, I was aware of the mental chatter for a long time. No matter what, the voice in my head always answered me. Is it something you can identify with? If so, how do you deal with it? It got to a point where the voice was overwhelming and I turned my attention to meditation to calm my mind. This took many months of practice, but I was finally able to sleep at night, without waking up to the incessant mental chatter. An even bigger change occurred when I stopped listening to my thoughts and paid attention to my feelings. That’s when my life really changed. I no longer believed my thoughts because, depending on my mood, my thoughts could not be trusted. For example, if I woke up in a bad mood, my thoughts would reflect that throughout the day. If I woke up in a good mood, I felt good. I depended on the quality of my life based on what I was thinking, and this was no way to live.

Eventually, I had enough and wanted to be in control of my thoughts, not letting them dictate my mood. So by directing my attention to my emotions, I observed my thoughts without getting involved in them. I simply turned down the volume on my thoughts and shifted my awareness to my feelings. Our feelings are the expression of the soul, even the painful ones. Many people are accused of running away from difficult feelings because they don’t want to deal with them. I have met countless people over the years who experienced something similar. They pay attention to their thoughts throughout their lives, which leads them on a wild goose chase. Therefore, if we can tune in to our feelings without manipulating them, we can make sense of them.

Welcome your difficult feelings

Are you comfortable with this so far? Does it resonate with you that your feelings, not your thoughts, are the measure of your truth? The transformation took place when I was no longer chained to my thinking. Earlier, I mentioned if I woke up in a bad mood in the morning; dictated how my day unfolded. Can you see how this is a recipe for an unproductive life? We are at the mercy of our thoughts, not knowing that they can be trusted. Could you reason that because you experience your thoughts, they must be true? But what evidence are you following? Observation alone?

I would say that because we are entangled in our thinking and blinded by our thoughts, it is difficult to make sense of them. Going back to my transformation, I am still aware of my thoughts, however, I now observe my feelings to see if they are aligned with my way of thinking. For example, if I wake up in a bad mood, I turn my attention to my body and notice the sensations there. I connect with them without resisting them. I recite the mantra: “I accept” or “I consent”. I welcome my thoughts without judging them or letting them rule my day. I simply watch them come and go from my mind without becoming attached to them.

More importantly, I welcome all thoughts, even painful ones, without censorship. For much of my life, when I experienced painful feelings like anger, sadness, or a depressed mood, I tried to change the feeling. I immersed myself in activities so that I didn’t have to feel the painful emotions. However, when I was not distracted, the emotions returned with greater intensity. Has this happened to you? I felt like I was on a merry-go-round trying to get off but unable to do so. When I stopped resisting difficult thoughts and emotions, my mind calmed down and I found inner peace and limitless freedom like no other. I wish the same for you because I know it is possible.

With this in mind, see if you can practice accepting difficult thoughts and emotions for the next 24 hours. Don’t rush, but start small. When you notice them, move your attention to the part of your body where the feeling is. Breathe into it and silently affirm to yourself, “I do.” feel your feelings and let them come and go without trying to control them. You may notice that they will increase in intensity as you pay attention to them. Your inclination will be to run away from the emotion, but stay with it a little longer. Within moments, the emotion will settle and you will notice a sense of inner peace and an expansive space around you. This is your natural awareness at rest filling the space of emotion. After all, to transform our lives, we must welcome all our thoughts but not be attached to them, since they are transitory states.