Life is a cycle of seasons and transitions between seasons can be worrisome. Often, there may be minor lifestyle alterations, which are soon resolved. But when they persist, there is a crisis. Midlife is one of those periods that has been recognized as a period of potential crisis.
Middle age is between the late 30s and late 40s. It is different from the premenopausal years that occur later. Until the 1900s, only about 10% of women reached middle age. Their roles were well defined within the limited sphere of home and family, as wife, mother, domestic slave. The midlife crisis was unheard of.
However, the 20th century has seen an incredible lengthening of life expectancy, and women have lived well into their seventh or eighth decade. So, around age 40 or so, when the maternity business ends and children begin to assert their independence, a stretch of life that appears to be a void looms before women. Husbands may also be going through their own midlife crisis and are like irritable hedgehogs. Or in a role reversal, they become too dependent on their wives. Women begin to feel trapped.
A woman can feel that life passes her by. “Who I am?” she wonders. “Does my life count for anything?” An inexplicable loneliness invades her as if she had no true identity of her own. Aware of her gradually fading beauty and energy, she sinks into depression. This feeling of worthlessness is compounded by marital dissatisfaction. The 20th century saw revolutionary changes in all aspects of life. Education, employment outside the home, the collapse of the joint family system, migration to the impersonal atmosphere of cities, changing sex roles, women’s liberation movements, youth culture, and rapid advances in science and technology have created a kind of insecurity in the country. traditional woman. As you try to keep up with the changing times, stress becomes your part.
It is in this context that the midlife crisis takes on importance. Whether single, married or widowed, almost two-thirds of women go through this phase. A career-oriented spinster at the top of the management hierarchy suddenly decided that she could no longer live alone. She conjures up images of being incarcerated in some Nursing Home, and the prospect alarms her. So she frantically advertises a suitable spouse in the newspapers and may recklessly select an undesirable spouse or enter into a cohabiting relationship. A sober middle-aged widow may decide to give herself a new image. You can visit an esthetician to have your eyebrows combed, plucked, and wrinkles fixed with Botox. You can even start wearing a lot of makeup and dressing like a teenager. You can scandalously flirt with eligible men or have an affair with someone younger than your son. People notice, gossip and laugh, but the woman throws decorum to the winds and is cheeky in her demeanor.
A spinster with unfulfilled maternal wishes may decide to have a baby out of wedlock or offer to ‘rent her womb’. Some psychologists say that Midlife Crisis is just a convenient excuse for irresponsible behavior. But it can be argued that if this were the case, why wait until middle age to indulge yourself? The Middle Ages is simply a transitory phase, and it is not something to be feared but to be appreciated. The crisis usually occurs when there is a lack of preparation. EM Blaicklock says that “the Middle Ages is the time when the fruits of life begin to ripen.”
You must be prepared for. It is time to take stock of yourself and examine your lifestyle. Factors that can contribute to a crisis need to be identified and addressed individually. Is there a fear of losing youth, sex appeal, and beauty? Are a few gray streaks, sagging breasts, or weight gain creating panic? A psychiatrist says, “Feeling good and looking good is related to the balance between mind and body.” And Longfellow assures that “the age is not less an opportunity than the youth itself, although with another dress”.
Exercise, a balanced diet, relaxation, and a general interest in the world around us will restore shine to middle-aged faces.
Has the marriage relationship gotten boring? Then you have to try harder to change it. A little more love, communication, and affection can go a long way toward fixing things. The husband may also be going through a midlife crisis and may be disinterested or unable to respond to his feelings. Therefore, a woman must verbalize her needs in a direct and specific way, making him understand that she is going through a difficult time and wants his understanding and love. A good husband will not only support his wife emotionally, but will also give her the space she needs to develop her sense of self-worth. If a woman is suddenly widowed in middle age, her depression may increase. Or you might rush into an affair that isn’t a delicate thing when you’re under stress.
For a woman who has spent the best years of her life being an exemplary mother, who has found identity and satisfaction in her children, the understanding that they no longer need her and that a large generation gap is developing between them makes her feel marginalized and useless. Middle age is also a time when one becomes vulnerable from a health point of view. Diseases such as obesity, hypertension, diabetes, the need for dietary restriction, medication, exercise, make her aware of her mortality. She begins to brood over her situation and gets bogged down in self-pity. Declining financial resources and retirement constraints also threaten your peace of mind.
All of these stressors have a snowball effect, which can undermine a woman’s self-confidence and lead to disturbed behavior such as depression, irritability, irrational behavior, assertiveness, or abnormal sexual interest. In fact, this phase is like going through an ’emotional second adolescence’.
Anticipating and preparing for middle age can ease the transition. Life does not end at that stage. Floyd and Thatcher say, “The Middle Ages is a time for discovery, not stagnation. It is a time for new beginnings, a threshold for a rich and stimulating future. If approached with good humor and flexibility, and openness to the change, the half years and more can be the best half of the life “. Life has many different seasons. In each season, a woman needs to reevaluate her values from different perspectives. Whether single, married or widowed, you need to flourish into your own identity and not be a rubber stamp for your husband or a rug for your children; nor should he allow himself to be exploited even by his own family. She must also make decisions and assert herself when necessary.
Hobbies and new interests make life interesting. “Unleash your creativity,” urges Ann Morrow Lindbergh. Music, reading, travel, painting are mood lifters.
Good friends are active in tough times. They act as confidants or soundboards when one needs to get something off his chest. They provide support in times of stress and depression. Groups like “Emotions Anonymous” help their members open up and talk about their problems. They learn from the experiences of others and help each other to redefine their ideas and values. They become happy and confident. Artificial accessories like drugs and alcohol are not the answer, nor is an extramarital affair the solution. It can only lead to feelings of guilt that are difficult to undo.
Husbands and children must realize that their caring love can work magic to overcome the midlife crisis. But unless a woman verbalizes her needs and fears, they cannot know.
Finding time for introspection, refusing to condemn yourself for imaginary flaws, and being aware of the temporary nature of such a crisis is halfway to overcoming it. People tend to put God last when faced with a crisis. Paul’s words in Philippians 3:13 are encouraging. “I am still not all that I should be, but I am putting all my energy to confirm one thing: forget the past and look to the future.” Prayer overcomes many crises.
Middle age is the season before the fall of life. Fall is sure to follow, illuminating the personality with the golden hues of maturity and peace. Life will begin anew with a new vision of what remains of the future.
