As I looked at some of Carl Jung’s quotes, one that stood out was ‘”Shame is a soul-eating emotion.” When I saw this, he reminded me of something I said about toxic shaming a few years ago.
In at least two articles, I’ve said that in the same way that acid destroys things, toxic shame will destroy someone’s sense of identity. I don’t know if she was talking about someone’s sense of identity when she said ‘soul’, but in both cases, they will be greatly weakened.
the second meaning
Assuming you were talking about someone’s sense of identity, let’s take a closer look at why it would do so much damage. When someone can experience shame and this is not a feeling that they experience more or less all the time, it will allow them to function in society.
It will prevent them from behaving shamelessly, allowing them to take responsibility for their behavior and respect the boundaries of others, among other things. Therefore, feeling bad will allow them to correct any destructive behavior or behavior that threatens others and, once this is done, they no longer need to feel bad.
A very different experience
This type of shame could be described as healthy shame, while toxic shame could be described as unhealthy shame. The reason for this is that, unlike normal shame, toxic shame will not arise at certain times and then disappear.
This kind of shame will be more or less always present, making someone feel totally worthless. They will feel bad about themselves and believe that there is nothing they can do to change how they feel.
The truth
At the same time, to say that this will be just a feeling would not be accurate, since it will be something that will have permeated your entire being. So it’s not that they feel useless; they will be useless.
Because of how you feel and how you view yourself, you most likely have a need to hide from others. This may mean that they will hide their true selves when around others and may isolate themselves from others.
suffer in silence
Hiding who they are will be seen as the only way other people will accept them. Revealing their true self, on the other hand, will be seen as something that would reject and abandon them and thus ostracize them.
Because of how they feel, they can get used to feeling depressed and even suicidal, but it will be like there is nothing they can do. They will be in an invisible prison and ending their own life may be seen as the only way out.
final thoughts
If someone is loaded with toxic shame, it probably means that they experienced some form of abuse and/or neglect during their early years. His connection to his fellow men would have been severed, making them believe there was something inherently wrong with them.
These early experiences would have separated them from others and made them disconnected from themselves. The truth is that they are not worthless and what they went through at this stage of their life does not have to define their life forever.
How can I serve you?
If you can relate to what I’ve written and need additional support, one of the ways I can provide it is through the one-on-one consultations I offer via Skype or Zoom.
For more information, visit http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/consultations. If he is committed to his own healing, I would be honored to help him on his journey.
