Think of the most popular television talk show hosts. Oprah, Ellen and Regis come to mind. What makes them so effective? Sure, guests may want to promote themselves or their causes, but what guests and audiences especially like is the conversation with the host: whether they’re funny, witty, serious, compassionate, they’re always engaging. People will decide if they want to join you based on their conversations with you. So how good is the quality of your conversation? How compelling is the experience of talking to you? Does it galvanize others? But is it the same as always? Do others cancel meetings to make time for you? Or do they cancel you to make time for others? People’s lives are busy and we are all competing for each other’s time. So if someone gives you their time, it’s your responsibility to give them the highest ROT (return on time). Here are three simple ideas to improve the ROT you give to others. Apply these tips and you will make people want to sit down and talk and listen to you.

1. Focus on your listening: Listen as if your life depended on hearing every word spoken by others. Listen as if what they say could lead to the next quantum breakthrough. Listen to the clues that will help you give them exactly what they need. Listen that way and you will transform the way they speak to you. Listen that way and you will help them say things they would never have said otherwise. Whatever you focus on is what you find.

2. Be magnetic in your language: Words are as real as the chair you are sitting on. Words can hit you like a fighter’s fist or caress you like a lover’s hand. Choose them carefully. Choose words that make others laugh, smile, imagine and dream. Choose words that are uniquely yours and attractive to others. Look at the words used in this article to motivate you to read this far. Find yours. Experiment with them. Formulate your own characteristic vocabulary of possibility and power.

3. Be attractive through your directness: Agree with others because their biggest fear is being wrong. Being wrong means looking bad. Looking bad means being rejected. And being rejected means failure. So be open to the views of others. Unless a law is broken, there is no right or wrong. Make it safe for people to tell you what they want. Always ask yourself this magic question: What if she’s right? Open up to others and they will open up to you. Strive to make sure that every conversation you have is a masterpiece. Enjoy the opportunity to connect with each person because it gives you the right to return.