BBD: a novel way to track fitness or a new boy band?

Poppin’ Fresh, that giggly Pillsbury Doughboy used to be thought of as a happy little overweight pet with skin so white he couldn’t leave the kitchen without sunscreen. Who could have imagined that 30 years after his famous tummy tuck, Poppin’ Fresh would inspire the biggest health craze since the Thighmaster? Who knows, if this really takes off, it may even be bigger than inversion boots.

Introduction to the BBD test. I invented it myself. Recently, while exercising with the p90x extreme home fitness program, I would periodically stick a pencil into my belly button and then record the depth. As I watched my belly button depth reduce from 23mm to 17mm over the course of several weeks, the BBD test was born. Before performing your home BBD test, remove all lint, fluff, half-eaten Twinkies, and any other foreign objects from your belly button, as they can cause falsely shallow BBD readings and are usually just plain gross. Known side effects include the fact that it is tickling and may cause the urge to laugh. Important safety tip: always use the erasing end. (You would be surprised). BBD can be more accurate for the guys, as we tend to carry more of our flubber on the spare tire and less on the boo-tay. However, it’s worth a try for anyone!

Look out for my article on “The Relationship Between Body Mass Index and BBD: A Longitudinal Cross-Sectional Regression Meta-Analysis” coming soon to a respected medical journal near you.

(Sorry, but if you’re an outie, you’re out of luck.)