I admit that my target audience is faithful wives. This makes sense. This is the position I was in myself, so I write from that perspective. It is easy for me to speak from the heart because I relate very easily to many of the people who read my articles. I guess that’s why sometimes spouses who have had an occasional fling reach out to me too. They want to hear from someone who might share the same perspective as their spouse. They want information about what their spouse might be feeling (or what their spouse might want or need moving forward).

A very common question I get from the cheating spouse is why does the faithful spouse need to know everything? Why does he ask so many questions? And why does he keep asking the same questions over and over again when an answer has already been given? Here’s what a husband might say: “I like to think I tried to be honest with my wife about it. I confessed. I told her everything I could. I honestly don’t know why I acted this way. I’m embarrassed.” But I admitted it. I thought if I just opened up and answered her questions, we could move on. But she doesn’t seem to want to move on. Because she can. I keep asking questions. Every day there are more questions. Some of the questions I’ve answered multiple times. times. I try to be patient, but I admit I’m certainly not as patient as I used to be because this just wears me out. It seems to never end. Why do women ask so many questions about affair?

There are multiple reasons, but it really comes down to this: They are desperately trying to understand. And they are trying to determine what happens now. I know it’s frustrating for you to be asked the same thing in multiple ways. But frankly, we keep asking because either the answer we got earlier doesn’t make sense or we’re still trying to piece this whole thing together so we know exactly what we’re dealing with. We’re well aware of the fact that our husbands don’t have their motivations figured out, which is why we’re trying to figure it out for him (and us). We want to know what led to this. We want to know if it is preventable in the future (assuming we want to save our marriage). We want to understand his thought process because we want to know if he can be rehabilitated. We never want to go through this again, so we want to have all the information available so that we can fully assess the best way forward.

We know you are tired of questions. It’s just that our need for information seems more important right now than your fatigue. I’m not trying to be funny or disrespectful, but I can’t overstate how much wives want enough information to really understand what they’re up against. They don’t want to make a decision to stay or go and have it be the wrong decision. At the same time, it hurts a lot, so they doubt their ability to process all this information at once, which is why they ask again and again.

So what does all this mean to you? To get some relief, you’ll need to help her process all of this information in a meaningful way so you don’t keep spinning. You can do this through advice or good self-help resources that allow you to check off what you’ve covered. You can also agree that at a certain time, she can ask you whatever she wants during a specific period of time. For example, maybe on a Sunday afternoon, they discuss it for five minutes. This lets her know you’ll listen, so she won’t feel as much of a need to bombard you with questions at random times.

Honestly, she probably doesn’t like all the questions either. I know I didn’t. She hated having to ask the questions. She hated the insecure feeling of having to sit there and prepare for answers. But ignoring what really happened is also a horrible feeling. So try to put yourself in her shoes and help her understand what she really wants to know. It’s really simpler than you think. She wants to know why this happened. And she wants to know what her best strategy is to move forward. She wants the information to help her decide these two things. She tries to remember that this is not her fault. She just needs the information for something she didn’t set in motion. She’s the innocent party, here. So, as repetitive and tedious as it is for her to answer the questions, it is better for her to be patient and try to be very clear and not elusive. The sooner you make things as clear as possible by being as honest as possible, the sooner the questions will start to appear. If you think you’ve already done it, keep it up. Patience is one of the most important attributes you can have right now.