Oh no! Christmas, Hanukah, and New Year’s Eve are coming up, and you’re still not seeing anyone.
The specter of long-lasting meetings with relatives who harass you because you failed to connect defeats your hopes for peace and goodwill. You’ll be explaining your regret from the first sip of eggnog to the last bite of mince pie.
Then you’ll lie in bed feeling like a colossal loser, reminiscing about how cousin Patty flashed her newly fitted engagement ring (about the size of an aircraft carrier) throughout dinner. And then, as you console yourself with the thought that this was just one night of your life, that you can surely get over the pitying looks and comments, you realize you’ll be the subject of them again on New Year’s Eve!
You’re left with two options: (A) Attend a party packed with self-satisfied couples, hoping that some gorgeous bachelor specimen of the opposite sex will sneak in and rescue you from your glass of hot champagne. (B) Accepting mom and dad’s offer to watch the ball drop on their new big-screen TV and enduring pleas to ‘hurry up and get married already’ in between B-list celebrity appearances.
Then, what are you going to do?
The temptation to end this year, stay home, and go through Sex and the City reruns with a bottle of wine is overwhelming. don’t. This holiday season may be your best yet if you approach it with the right mindset. Here are five tips to help facilitate a new perspective:
Know the truth: those self-satisfied married couples aren’t that self-satisfied. Hey, most of them are downright miserable. You do not believe me? Look around. Go to any family restaurant on a Friday night and notice all the couples not making eye contact. Observe husbands and wives who talk to the children but not to each other. Go to the mall on a Sunday afternoon and watch the Christmas shoppers. Far from what you see in diamond ads, huh? Be happy that you are not stuck in a boring marriage! Decide that if and when you do get married, it will be for the right reasons, not because you reached a certain age, your parents were scolding you, you want kids, or you want your friends to feel bad because you bought or received a bigger diamond. that they.
Think of a quick response. When some jerk looks at you over the top of a Christmas turkey and asks, “Are you ever going to get married?” He simply answers: “Why do you ask?” If the inquisitor persists, he smiles enigmatically and says, “I’m too young to get married.” Say this even if you are fifty years old. If your mother begins to accumulate feelings of guilt for having given her grandchildren, tell her that you hate children. Suggest that she sponsor an unfortunate child for twenty dollars a month through a worthy charity. Never allow yourself to be drawn into conversations about what it is you do to repel the opposite sex.
Walk into every party a winner. Sit at each table as if you were the guest of honor. Be calmly confident. Smile. Walks upright. Sit straight. Feel good about yourself. Deck yourself out in flattering clothing (women, the poncho may be in style, but if it makes you look like a sack of onions, leave it; men, avoid wearing baseball caps at all costs). Don’t walk into a party hoping someone will notice you. Walk into a party expecting to be noticed.
Be proactive. Instead of waiting for invitations, throw your own party. Brighten up the event by preparing a trendy drink. Make an investment and pour it into appropriate glasses. For a fancy effect, start the night off by playing Mozart or jazz renditions of holiday classics. Keep the party lively later by turning on Moby or the latest U2. Be the star that you are and dress up. (If you want something more casual, Super Bowl parties are great, even for those of us who don’t understand football.) Invite singles and couples from work, church, wherever. The more the merrier, so tell guests to bring a friend. Be sure to ask one or two married couples to avoid the singles get-together vibe, but avoid inviting couples who stay up talking about their kids all night.
Understand that being single is a good thing. Look, you’re not tied to anyone. Your life is full of possibilities. Every day is an adventure. You can travel as you want, buy clothes as you want, go out as you want. The married can not. Decide not to give up your freedom until someone truly worthy comes along. This is powerful. When you sit around waiting for the right person to show up, no one will. But once you decide to enjoy your life, often someone wonderful and worthy will show up, and sooner than you expect.
