As women, when we meet a man we click with, we don’t want him to slip through our fingers. If we’ve had a great time, and he said he’d call and several days go by with no news, it’s tempting to call him. Unless he has specifically asked you to be the one to contact you, don’t let this urge overwhelm you. There’s a reason so many people suggest not calling men. If you make the mistake of calling, you can actually change the entire course of the future of the relationship.

Regardless of what you hear about men who love aggressive women, deep down they still want to be the one who’s chasing. If the two of you go out and you get the feeling that he is as interested in you as you are in him, give him some time to call you back. Many men prove to women that they are interested by not calling right away. Men want to measure how desperate you are by intentionally not calling. If you take the bait and call him the day after the date, he’ll find you much less attractive. If a week goes by and still no word from you, he will call and call until you answer or reply to his voicemail.

Not calling men is also very helpful if you are already in a relationship. Most relationships fall into predictable patterns from the start. If you and your boyfriend have reached a point where you’re the one making most of the calls, things won’t change unless you take matters into your own hands. Many women think that simply by telling their boyfriend that they want him to call, he will do it. He probably won’t. You need to change what you are doing to alter their behavior. The easiest thing you can do to correct the problem is to stop calling him as often as you have been. This requires a lot of willpower, but once you start it, it doesn’t take long to respond. If he doesn’t hear from you, he will start calling you to find you. Keep it up and in no time he’ll be calling you much more than you call him.

Instead of just taking the phone for granted and calling the man of your life whenever you feel like it, take the time to think about that action. Even if it seems innocent enough to call him to touch base, it can have repercussions that will change your relationship.